On change: We unconsciously adopt narratives about the shape of our lives from previous generations, movie plots, and our peers. These “scripts” are often useful but tend to outlive their purpose as we age. Much of life is about figuring out which stories to discard as you age.

Communication failures like these make for good storytelling where we, the audience, get to watch the characters stumble towards understanding. But you shouldn’t live like someone waiting for the screenwriter of your life to arrange a convenient resolution. Functional people don’t let things linger unspoken — they name what’s facing them out loud.