Are You a Settler?

The path forward from here isn’t that complicated. You explore your defenses and your shame with a spirit of curiosity, and you give yourself more permission to be your soft, effusive self out in the open. If that feels like a lot, remember that merely grounding yourself in the moment is a start. You stop and breathe and forgive yourself for who yo

... See more

At first, these adaptations make it possible to survive. But eventually, the methods you used to feel comfortable and safe rendered you increasingly defended, shut down, prone to escapism, resistant to reality, anxious, avoidant, neurotic, narcissistic, depressed, hopeless. This is true because when you function through a series of defenses, fantas

... See more

When we were very young, our bodies told us that we could break through the constraints of the mundane world and seize a more colorful, wild life for ourselves. As we grew older, we caught glimpses of lives that looked more exciting and full of promise than ours, through a million shiny portholes, and we began to define joy as something that lived

... See more