My inner child questions the rules that I have chosen for my recovery. As I grow I am learning to structure rules based on self-respect.

Sometimes it manifests itself as a dark cloud of depression, even though everything is going well.

Consequently, I do not substi-tute unconditional love for my inner child with expensive cars or stereo systems. I do not stuff my feelings inside a closet crammed with clothes or gadgets. My abundant inner power fills me with peace of mind.

It is not until spring that we really know what lies beneath the snow. I have buried my past underneath many feet of snow. This

He is convinced that if anyone discovered who he really is, he would be rejected.

In my dysfunctional family, I felt torn between my desire for independence and my neediness. If I asserted my power, I lost my right to have needs. If I asked for help, I lost my hard-won power.

Today I will let go of my need for others to live up to my ideals. I do not have the right to impose my expectations on anyone else.

As a child, I had no heroes. I didn’t want to emulate any of the adults in my life. I set out to make my own way and my own rules in life. Now I think I’ve gone about as far as I can on my own. As an adult, I can see the need for someone after whom I can model my behavior. I need to find a person, who exemplifies what I want to be “when I grow up.”

I have the courage to slow down. I need to take time alone just to be still and to reflect on life. In the midst of the pain in my childhood home, taking time to think was the last thing I wanted to do. I sought to push away the hurtful realities of my family life by being involved in a whirl of activity. Now as an adult, my frenetic activity