If we are clear about our values, and what is important to us, we can use this knowledge to create meaningful, satisfying goals and motivators.

When behaviour

Know exactly WHY you are part of a team, and what values you bring to the team so it can work at its best. These are your individual values.

A thought cannot control or cause your behaviour, but it can influence it.

These more or less subtle ways of avoiding the discomfort one faces, or might have to face in the future, happen all the time. To gain back some ground from avoidance, first you need to be aware of these old tricks your passengers play on you. And, next, you need to have clarity of values and direction, and courage to take the wheel back into your

An important part of ACT is the identification of values, and the design of ‘committed action’ towards those values. This generally leads to greater satisfaction, and happiness, in addition to fuelling motivation and freeing up energy to devote to those things that are important to them.

Particularly the use of the Diary of Reactive Habits, along with the Walk-Through, and Lean In exercises. They will help you get used to unwanted thoughts and emotions without getting lost in them and acting out on them. You will become defused or separate from them, in a way, and it is easier to have them not impact on your behaviour.

can’t let her beat me!’ We use the internal command ‘I have to train’, and the fear of failure, of embarrassment, of letting others down, of being ‘a loser’ as a way to push ourselves and achieve. In psychology, this is called aversive control.

There is also the work of Paul Ekman on the duration of emotions. Paul has some talks on YouTube that may be helpful, and has written books for the general public.