Be open and alert to identifying your insecurities. Start by making a list of your insecurities and adding to it as you detect others. Be aware of the self-condemnation and self-doubt they cause you. Journal about it.

What do you have to do? You must understand two truths about yourself. Here’s the first truth: your life is in a mess. Of course you might not like to hear that. It might insult you, which only proves it’s true. Say to someone your life is in a mess and they are likely to object with, “What do you mean? I’m doing pretty well. I have a career; I

realized I was in the presence of life. It was right there. He was alive. By comparison, I was dead.

To live like a king or queen spiritually means you know no anxiety at all, no inner conflict, no tensions, no pressures, no upset, no heartache. Until you can transcend these reactions, your life remains a mess.

Here is the second truth—this is a bit tougher—admit you do not want to get out of the mess. Talk to any experienced psychologist and he or she will confirm that. The last thing a client wants is a cure. They don’t want to get cured; they want relief. They want a pill; they want a salve; they want a Band-Aid. Give me back my wife. Give me back my

Get yourself ready for a shock. Here it comes: Nothing in reality, nothing in life, nothing in the world upsets you. Nothing has the power to upset you. All upset exists in you, not in reality. All upset is in you, not in life. For most people, life is something that happens to them while they’re busy suffering all sorts of other things.

What decides what will finally make its way to your conscious mind from all the material that is pouring in from the world? Three decisive filters: First, your attachments. Second, your beliefs. Third, your fears.

What no attachment represents is a new attitude for engaging the world. It’s a willing attitude that says, “I want to be aware; I want to be in touch with whatever is and let whatever happens happen.” It is adjusting to the understanding that the moment you make a goal out of something and attempt to get it, you’re seeking ego glorification, ego

The fourth step: Acknowledge how we always want someone else to change so that we will feel good. But has it ever struck you that even if your wife changes or your husband changes, what does that do to you? You’re just as vulnerable as before; you’re just as idiotic as before; you’re just as asleep as before. You are the one who needs to change.