A Year with Anthony De Mello: Waking Up Week by Week

The second step is to understand that the feeling is in you, not in reality.

Hardly anyone has been told the following truth: in order to be genuinely happy, there is one and only one thing you need to do—get deprogrammed and get rid of those attachments. When people stumble upon this self-evident truth, they become terrified at the thought of the pain involved in dropping their attachments.

The root cause of your suffering is attachment. What is an attachment? An attachment is an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some thing or some person or some result you cannot be happy. Look at this society we live in, rotten to the core, infected as it is with attachments.

The first thing you will need to do is get in touch with all the negative feelings that you’re not even aware of.

Hardly anyone has been told the following truth: in order to be genuinely happy, there is one and only one thing you need to do—get deprogrammed and get rid of those attachments. When people stumble upon this self-evident truth, they become terrified at the thought of the pain involved in dropping their attachments.

Now, listening is not as easy as you might think. Why? Because we’re always listening from fixed concepts, fixed positions, fixed prejudices. The kind of listening I am referring to means being alert. So, as you read this book and reflect on it, be alert. Be watchful. Hold the intention to listen with a fresh mind, without prejudices, without judgi

The fourth step: Acknowledge how we always want someone else to change so that we will feel good. But has it ever struck you that even if your wife changes or your husband changes, what does that do to you? You’re just as vulnerable as before; you’re just as idiotic as before; you’re just as asleep as before. You are the one who needs to change.

When other people or outcomes don’t live up to your programmed expectations, you’re programmed to torment yourself with frustration, anger, or bitterness. As was stated before, people often do not realize how unhappy they have been until they experience a spontaneous moment of joy. If you wish to be happy, if you wish to be at peace, the first thin

What no attachment represents is a new attitude for engaging the world. It’s a willing attitude that says, “I want to be aware; I want to be in touch with whatever is and let whatever happens happen.” It is adjusting to the understanding that the moment you make a goal out of something and attempt to get it, you’re seeking ego glorification, ego pr