Now imagine saying to this person, “I’m perfectly happy without you, darling. I wish you nothing but good, and I leave you free. When we truly connect, I’m delighted; and when we don’t, I’m not miserable. When you go away, I don’t miss you.” Journal about your experience in relating to a loved one in this way. Does it cause a shock? Journal about i

People don’t want to get out of the mess. They don’t want happiness; they want money, they want fame, they want power, they want approval, they want their comforts. They want the little things that society has falsely taught them are essential for happiness. Those are the things that are creating the mess. It’s the source of conflicts, anxieties, t

Now, listening is not as easy as you might think. Why? Because we’re always listening from fixed concepts, fixed positions, fixed prejudices. The kind of listening I am referring to means being alert. So, as you read this book and reflect on it, be alert. Be watchful. Hold the intention to listen with a fresh mind, without prejudices, without judgi

The fourth step: Acknowledge how we always want someone else to change so that we will feel good. But has it ever struck you that even if your wife changes or your husband changes, what does that do to you? You’re just as vulnerable as before; you’re just as idiotic as before; you’re just as asleep as before. You are the one who needs to change.

The first thing you will need to do is get in touch with all the negative feelings that you’re not even aware of.

The third step: Never identify with that feeling.

Here is the second truth—this is a bit tougher—admit you do not want to get out of the mess. Talk to any experienced psychologist and he or she will confirm that. The last thing a client wants is a cure. They don’t want to get cured; they want relief. They want a pill; they want a salve; they want a Band-Aid. Give me back my wife. Give me back my m

To live like a king or queen spiritually means you know no anxiety at all, no inner conflict, no tensions, no pressures, no upset, no heartache. Until you can transcend these reactions, your life remains a mess.

The root cause of your suffering is attachment. What is an attachment? An attachment is an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some thing or some person or some result you cannot be happy. Look at this society we live in, rotten to the core, infected as it is with attachments.