A Year with Anthony De Mello: Waking Up Week by Week

Now imagine saying to this person, “I’m perfectly happy without you, darling. I wish you nothing but good, and I leave you free. When we truly connect, I’m delighted; and when we don’t, I’m not miserable. When you go away, I don’t miss you.” Journal about your experience in relating to a loved one in this way. Does it cause a shock? Journal about i

On a bitterly cold day a master and his disciples were huddled around a fire. One of the disciples, echoing his master’s teachings, said, “On a freezing day like this I know exactly what to do!” “What?” asked the others. “Keep warm! And if that isn’t possible, I still know what to do.” “What?” “Freeze.” Present Reality cannot really be rejected or

The first thing you will need to do is get in touch with all the negative feelings that you’re not even aware of.

What no attachment represents is a new attitude for engaging the world. It’s a willing attitude that says, “I want to be aware; I want to be in touch with whatever is and let whatever happens happen.” It is adjusting to the understanding that the moment you make a goal out of something and attempt to get it, you’re seeking ego glorification, ego pr

Your attachments: You will inevitably look for what fosters or threatens them and turn a blind eye to the rest. You won’t be interested in the rest any more than the avaricious businessperson is interested in anything that does not involve the making of money. Your beliefs: Just take a look at a fanatic who only notices what confirms his or her bel

The mystics keep trying to tell us that reality is all right. The upset is in you, not in reality. Reality is not problematic. Problems exist only in the human mind. We might add “in the ignorant, programmed, conditioned, sleeping mind.” Reality is not problematic, but most people are not ready to hear that.

It was your parents, your society, your culture, your religion, and your past experiences that fed the operating instructions into your computer. These things depend on the criteria society establishes; they depend on your social conditioning that was stamped into you. You’ve been programmed with this. You’ve been conditioned this way. This is what

So, how long will it take to give it to you? I’ll be honest with you: I don’t think it would take more than two minutes. Grasping it might take you twenty years, fifteen years, ten years, fifty-two weeks, one week, one day, ten minutes—who knows. You could read one chapter in this book and get it. It all depends on you. Is it difficult to understan

Here is the second truth—this is a bit tougher—admit you do not want to get out of the mess. Talk to any experienced psychologist and he or she will confirm that. The last thing a client wants is a cure. They don’t want to get cured; they want relief. They want a pill; they want a salve; they want a Band-Aid. Give me back my wife. Give me back my m