A lifetime of should-ing

The numbness I felt was the result of continuously choosing to ride the gondola in the direction of someone else’s definition of success, moving further and further from my own intuition of a life well lived. When we feel internal turmoil, it’s a signal from our body to rethink our assumptions. While it’s natural to turn to everyone else — anyone e... See more

For most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was ea... See more

Growing up, we turn to our parents, friends, teachers, and communities for guidance like our lives depend on it. Because it does. We have no idea yet how to live, how to learn, how to dress, how to be. Through being explicitly told what to do and implicitly observing what we should do, we learn to earn love and acceptance by living in accordance wi... See more