We’re not meant to be independent creatures, all alone. We’re meant to depend on each other. It’s an unsettling truth: the less we depend on each other, the more we depend on the market. We summon eggs to our apartment via an app instead of simply asking a neighbor. We hire a therapist—incapable of loving us back by design —and forget to call our... See more

That’s the thing about attachment—you need to depend to be independent. You need a stable base to venture out. Something to rely on to take risks. Some stability to cope with chaos. Otherwise you can’t explore with confidence. If you fear abandonment, you won’t risk romance. Words will feel traumatic. You will stay stagnant, afraid to move. Maybe

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your 20s is just realizing that it will and can get lonelier

For centuries, we have built a culture around the autonomous human being - the one who can manage alone, who needs no one, who is whole in themselves. We have celebrated individuality as freedom, independence as strength, and self-sufficiency as maturity. But that is a lie - or at least a crude simplification. We have overvalued the individual and

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Yes, the average one bedroom apartment in New York is thousands of dollars, but part of the compromise of New York IS living with roommates or sharing space in some other fashion for longer than in other cities. You don’t move to New York as a fledgling cultural worker and automatically become entitled to make enough money to rent a one bedroom.... See more