334 / Parent or not: finding networks of care
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334 / Parent or not: finding networks of care
As many lonely people discover far too late, the reliance of children on their parents and, subsequently, of parents on their children, and the reliance of members of communities on each other, are what fill our lives with meaning, our social bonds with substance and warmth, and our futures with hope.
Winnicott’s crucial insight was that the parents’ agony was coming from a particular place: excessive hope. Their despair was a consequence of a cruel and counterproductive perfectionism. To help them reduce this, Winnicott developed a charming phrase: ‘the good enough parent’. No child, he insisted, needs an ideal parent. They just need an OK, pre
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