3 steps to turn everyday get-togethers into transformative gatherings

Touching on these elements with care can produce transformative gatherings, because you can dig below the typical conversation into the bedrock of values.

When we don’t examine the deeper assumptions behind why we gather, we end up skipping too quickly to replicating old, staid formats of gathering. And we forgo the possibility of creating something memorable, even transformative.

Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought goes into them, when (often invisible) structure is baked into them, and when a host has the curiosity, willingness, and generosity of spirit to try.

Every gathering with a vivid, particular purpose needs more of certain behaviors and less of others.

the question of how to get those you gather to be more authentic.

The skilled gatherer knows not only how to make people share and connect, but also how to make things fruitfully controversial.

If the standards of etiquette are fixed, imperious, and exclusionary, pop-up rules have the power to flip these traits on their head, creating the possibility of more experimental, humble, and democratic—and satisfying!—gatherings.