There will be emotions. That is okay. Emotions can be there, no problem. Accept them; just don’t get lost in them. Re-read the chapter on acceptance. See the difference between noticing the experience of the emotion and getting into the mind’s story about the emotion. It is always the story that hurts, that ends in chaos.

But if you ignore the label and story and just watch; like a wave building to a peak, the feeling crashes and withdraws – the chemical reaction is over quickly, in less than 90 seconds. If you don’t offer this process any resistance you can witness it all coming and then going – building, crashing, leaving. It’s over; done with.

Maharishi Sadashiva Isham, the teacher of my Bright Path Ishaya teacher once said: “The simple guiding principle here is this: if we are sowing division, preaching destruction, seeking or finding evil in the world (even if we are looking for it with the intention of removing it!), then we are part of the problem, not the cure.”

“If you want to give me something, give me your greed, your lusts, your weaknesses. That is what you really hold dear above all else. Give me everything that stands between you and God.” - Brahmananda Saraswati, Indian spiritual teacher

In every interaction innocence is a great gift. Not assuming, not taking positions, just willing and wanting to interact and relate exactly to the person and not to your idea or agenda.

Apart from the initial courage to make a different choice, you’ll find it’s quite easy. It’s actually very peaceful to not be in charge, to release the grip, to not worry for once.

You don’t love yourself exactly as you are because there are parts of yourself that you judge as unacceptable. You resist who you are right now. Stop resisting, start accepting and you’ll find nothing but love.

Making sure the fire in your relationship never goes out can be as simple as making your praise and appreciation a daily practice.

Seeing clearly that you always have a choice is taking responsibility for these situations. No one threw you into this – your past choices brought you here and, if you wish, you can get yourself out.