103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known

1/4 Additional new bits of advice I wished I had known earlier (not in my book), as my gift on my 73 birthday: • The best way to criticize something is to make something better. • Admitting that “I don’t know” at least once a day will make you a better person. • Forget trying to decide what your life’s destiny is. That’s too grand. Instead, just figure out what you should do in the next 2 years. • Aim to be effective, but unpredictable. That is, you want to act in a way that AIs have trouble modeling or imitating. That makes you irreplaceable. • Whenever you hug someone, be the last to let go. • Don’t save up the good stuff (fancy wine, or china) for that rare occasion that will never happen; instead use them whenever you can. • The best gardening advice: find what you can grow well and grow lots and lots of it. • Never hesitate to invest in yourself—to pay for a class, a course, a new skill. These modest expenditures pay outsized dividends. • Try to define yourself by what you love and embrace, rather than what you hate and refuse. • Read a lot of history so you can understand how weird the past was; that way you will be comfortable with how weird the future will be. • To make a room luxurious, remove things, rather than add things. •  your parents while they are still alive. Keep asking questions while you record. You’ll learn amazing things. Or hire someone to make their story into an oral history, or documentary, or book. This will be a tremendous gift to them and to your family. • If you think someone is normal, you don’t know them very well. Normalcy is a fiction. Your job is to discover their weird genius. • When shopping for anything physical (souvenirs, furniture, books, tools, shoes, equipment), ask yourself: where will this go? Don’t buy it unless there is a place it can live. Something may need to leave in order for something else to come in. • You owe everyone a second chance, but not a third. • When someone texts you they are running late, double the time they give you. If they say they’ll be there in 5, make that 10; if 10, it’ll be 20; if 20, count on 40. • Multitasking is a myth. Don’t text while walking, running, biking or driving. Nobody will miss you if you just stop for a minute. • You can become the world’s best in something primarily by caring more about it than anyone else. • Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. • Try to make the kind of art and things that will inspire others to make art and things. • Once a month take a different route home, enter your house by a different door, and sit in a different chair at dinner. No ruts. • Where you live—what city, what country—has more impact on your well being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. • Every now and then throw a memorable party. The price will be steep, but long afterwards you will remember the party, whereas you won’t remember how much is in your checking account. • Most arguments are not really about the argument, so most arguments can’t be won by arguing. • The surest way to be successful is to invent your own definition of success. Shoot your arrows first and then paint a bull’s eye around where they land. You’re the winner!

by Kevin Kelly