Benjamin Monlezun
@benmonlezun
Benjamin Monlezun
- I'm not available." - Helps establish off-hours and personal time boundaries.
"I need you to help me." - Encourages teamwork and shared responsibility.
"I don't agree." - Clearly states disagreement while remaining open to finding a mutual solution.
"I understand you need my help, but I cannot work on this right now." - Balances empathy with personal ... See moreAdvice to remember and review to better set boundaries.
- One of the commonest and most generally accepted delusions is that every man can be qualified in some particular way— said to be kind, wicked, stupid, energetic, apathetic and so on.
People are not like that. We may say of a man that he is more often kind than cruel, more often wise than stupid, more often energetic than apathetic or vice versa; but... See moreHow to think of any person as just like me - and how I’d want to be seen. Thanks Tolstoy.
- "Every epistemology becomes an ethic," the educator Parker ].
Palmer once observed. "The shape of our knowledge becomes the shape of our living; the relation of the knower to the known becomes the relation of the living self to the larger world." Palmer is saying that the way we attend to others determines the kind of person we become. If we see peo... See moreSelf improvement and How to Think About People
When looking at my family or friends that judge first (which I can even do) - this is the argument or the recognition of why they (and I) should change.
I think too, that social media harms our ability to cultivate the qualities of an Illuminator - to care and see others. That we are not one thing at one time. That we all have grains of the same qualities with a soul that changes from moment to moment.
- Excellent feedback receivers recognize the bias inherent in every piece of feedback. They can see that when X person gives feedback about Y, they should listen closely because they care about Y, and X is an expert in Y. Conversely, if X talks about Z, they’ll disregard it because X really doesn’t know shit about Z
Good perspective on who’s giving feedback
- When sometime tells them “You suck at Y” and they genuinely care about Y, they ask five additional follow-ups: “What have you seen me do that makes you think so?” “What do you think will help me improve in Y?” “Who is excellent at Y that I can learn from?” “How do you assess at Y?” “Why is Y important to be good at?”
Be a better feedback receiver.