love how the events on this page go all the way back to everything she’s done since 1992

Susan asked for a collection - here’s her original prompt

1. an artful rule protects what’s precious 

2. an artful rule draw helpful (and sometimes controversial) distinctions 

3. artful rules are shared at the threshold, before anyone enters 

4. an artful rule thinks three steps ahead of the guest 

5. an artful rule is culture-creating 

This is tough, but also normal. Maybe try a more direct approach than “we”, like simply using his name and “do not hit me”. Stuff like “whoa, that’s too rough!”, “ouch, that hurt”, “please be gentle”, (with the minimum words required) seems to work better than long explanations when they’re distracted. Sometimes moving toward them with a firm, restraining hug and looking into their eyes while speaking helps.

Lately I’ve been trying “you’re getting so big and strong, those kicks can really hurt!”, and noticing out loud when Daddy uses his strength vs when he’s gentle. Climbing used to freak me out, but it does serve an important purpose, so now it’s mostly “choose something else to climb” or “climb down carefully”, and he does it a lot less. If he’s been hurt climbing before, he may feel an even stronger need to master it. Take him to some monkey bars, help him learn what’s stable vs wobbly, how high is too high, work on ways to get down, etc. Maybe differentiate between indoor and outdoor play, make more time for rough play and exercise during this gross motor phase, and involve him in what you’re doing when he is gentle. It does get better.